Monday, April 30, 2012

Swallowed

Shadows consume the light
No hope for recovery
Smothering souls trap
And consume all reason
For trying and living
But I will try to shed
Just a small amount
Of light on the world
But as I should have known
And much to my chagrin
I have no help
And am swallowed
By these shadows
As here I disappear
And conform to the world

Sunday, April 29, 2012

Running

I run with hopes
Of escaping my demons
I know it's hopeless
But I can try
As I continue on
The people I meet
Provide no help
As I suffer daily
Finally after years
Of running and hiding
I have given up
And will allow my demons
To take me over
So here I stop
And come out of hiding
To face them
Once and for all
But the courage I show
Frightens them away
And I am saved
From myself

Saturday, April 28, 2012

Smile

You let me fade away
With negativity in the light
Of course you would not know
That I would die today
But my last moments
Were spent crying
Over your harsh words
And opposing emotions
Before this moment
As I lie here though
Choking on my own blood
I will not blame you
Because you could not know
That this would happen
So as my world fades
I smile for you
Because I know it was one moment
In a happy relationship
And I will always remember
The love we shared
As opposed to our troubled times
So don't feel bad
Smile for me as well
Knowing that we loved
While we had the chance

Friday, April 27, 2012

Determined

What determines
The life of a good man?
What made him so?
His accomplishments
Or who we framed him as?
A public figure
Who had the spotlight
Is automatically
Without question considered so
Unless major flaws
Were unveiled
But I say no
A man out of the spotlight
With a great work ethic
Who does everything
In their power
For those they love
And even those strangers
But never asked for a thing
Is a good man
And should be noted as such

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Famous

The light is blinding
And my ears ring
The ground shakes
And we all quiver
But not in fear
In anticipation
For the coming moment
One never forgotten
When we take a throne
Among the greatest
As the field becomes ours
And we are made famous

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Indefinite

I pray for love
I search for help
And I hope for happiness
But none are present
Everything absent
Pure hatred within
I turn cold
And loathe existence
I hope for death
And in return
Life is indefinite

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Within

The fall
Was long and hard
Much more
Than ever expected
I almost feel
Unfortunate
So many options drained
Into nothingness
A life full of remorse
And regrets untold
But also a life 
Of happiness
And monogamy
I smile
Because I realize
I don't regret
And I feel no remorse
For I have 
Discovered 
The feeling of love
In you

Monday, April 23, 2012

Insane

Rampant it runs
My mind
At an unprecedented pace
Never-ending thoughts
Swirl within me
Bringing vacancy
To my outside persona
Is it real?
What I see
Here before me?
This monster of myth
Or is it my mind?
Caused by the race within
Fabricating such monstrosity
For my eyes
I scratch at them
In hope of escape
But soon thereafter
I am lost within
But a lost cause
Sane nevermore
As my mind overtakes me

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Wish

I weep in joy
And in sorrow
For his passing
Has me broken
But his dying wish
Was for no mourning
But for celebration
Because the Lord
Called him higher
After a grand life
One filled with purpose
And wisdom shared
So I dry my eyes
And smile
As I lower him
And let him go
So today I celebrate
And rejoice
The greatest man I knew
For the man he was
And the man
I will always remember

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Knife

Envious eyes burn
Longing for the thing
The only object
He can't have
Why must it be so?
That he cannot
Get what he wants
What he deserves?
He has done so much
Only to have received
Spit to the face
And a fat lip
But his days of it
They are finished now
Because the knife
Dripping in her hand
Has solved it all
She will no longer
Ever again feel his fist
The fist he felt
Was warranted to hit
And beat her
She grins wickedly
And walks away
As the knife does drip
And he fades away

Friday, April 20, 2012

Pinned

These hands
Adrenaline shakes them
My heart beats faster
Than it has ever pumped
I wish for slack
Just a slight moment
To recover
And receive a break
But this moment
Won't allow it
I hear the sirens
Of those who stand
Against what I
Allegedly
Have done
But they believe
What they will
And trap me within
Pinned physically
And with this charge
The murder of my love
And I close my eyes
Wish for death
As it is granted
And I meet my love

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Rotten

Life is evil
Unforgiving as Satan
It's rotten hands
Grip at my throat
Refusing to release
And no breath
Is available to me
As I yell for help
I simply realize
That there is no escape
And this shall be my fate
As life
In itself
Shall be my demise

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Broken

I fear nothing
Yet here I cower
I am invincible
Yet I feel vulnerable
I can do anything I want
Yet I feel paralysis
The world is mine to take
But victory is eons away
My life has incredible potential
But I refuse to adapt
To my situations
And overcome my struggles
I curl up like a cat
And give up
A beaten man
When things go wrong
But this shall always pass
In the same fashion
For I am broken
Defeated by myself

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Destiny

I find deception
In this mirror
Staring back at me
But it is an unfamiliar face
Why does it seem wrong?
Because I am always true
So why do I see
All this deceit?
I want to discover
The inner workings
Of my mind
But it is unnecessary
Because the man I see
Is not myself
But the man I will be
And a tear is shed
As this looking pane
Into the future
Has shown me the man
I said I would never become

Monday, April 16, 2012

Life

Fly through life
Without hesitation
Without regret
And with purpose
Your life need not be grand
Just live it
Your perspective counts
Not the person next to you
Die satisfied
In your eyes
Knowing that you did
And felt what you wanted
You made mistakes
You had fun
And you were yourself
Your own person
That no other person
In such a large world 
Could duplicate
Because no one can change you
No one can alter
The person you are
Because who you are 
Is your thumbprint
On the world's history
Small or large
You lived
And that's what you should die with

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Cloaks

Life as I know it
Is phony
Nothing is real
Legitimate or true
Everyone is fake
And puts up false walls
To hide their true person
Their full identity
I reach for someone
Someone revealed
But cloaks are all I see
So I pull at emptiness
And stand exposed
In my true form
Suffering from reality
I put my guard up
I blend in
And become the others
With this cloak of falsities
This life of lies

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Wrath

My deaf ears strain
My blind eyes focus
And my senseless fingers
Feel the gravity of what's to come
A moment unlike any other
And upon the ground
The force of angels
Rains down upon human
Wrath be done upon them
For not praying 
And not devoting themselves
And their true colors shine
Though heavenly figures
Hell-bent creatures
With blind anger
And the world suddenly goes dark

Friday, April 13, 2012

Mirrors

Violence circles my head
He taunts me with urges
And reactions possible
But I must resist
Because I do not know control
An uncaged lion
If I give into it
An awful result
But as my temper rages further
My fists ball up
My body quivers
And my hand contacts the mirror
My greatest enemy defeated
I flail uncontrollably
Laughing sadistically
And settle only to claim victory

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Prophet

Light fills my soul
As I am irrevocably
And immovably
Erect at His side
I am a rock
For He has given me will
Strength to stand
And a drive unmatched
I will be eternal
For God has made me so
His prophet alive
On Earth as a messenger
I will tell his tale
And beg for followers
Never to force upon
Just to plea
Because God's hand
Allows lightness
To fill even the darkest corners
And cracks of the mind

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Noose

I look on to this spectacle
This atrocity
With great remorse
For an awful mortal
Who hangs by his neck
From a noose fashioned
Fabricated for himself
By himself
A prisoner disturbed
Within himself
In the very corners of his mind
Trapped there for eternity
Never to be released
So he took an exit
The only available
And rode the boat
Across the Styx
And into the world beyond
Lost but not forgotten
As another is trapped
In the corners of their mind
By the man hanging
As he had been plagued
He shall continue this cycle
Trapping people never-ending
And for eternity
The bloodshed will continue

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Cords

I'm flirting shamelessly
Dancing even
On the brink
Of disaster
So close to the edge
I look down
A bottomless pit
A certain death
I smile wickedly
Adrenaline unnecessary
Just a death wish
So as the wind blows
The bottom beckons me
As I jump
And allow the cords
To pull me up again

Monday, April 9, 2012

Death

Death comes swiftly
Painless, seamless
The scythe swipes down
And carries you away
Fear it not
For he is just doing a job
Assigned by fate
Ordered by destiny
He is but a pawn
In God's grand scheme
So don't give him grief
Ask him what you must
But pass on
Into a better place
And fulfill the next part
The next chapter
Of your life
At the hand of the Lord

Sunday, April 8, 2012

Control

I pace silently
In the corner of my mind
I ponder an escape
But my faith shall be blind
I believe in myself
And what I bring forth
So I plod on
And head straight north
Because I will defeat
My greatest foe
Myself, from myself
And I will know
That with this drive
That I will conquer with
Losing to myself
Will fast become a myth
Because I am my master
And will not betray that
So triumphantly I will stand
And tip my hat
To the man I was
As opposed to who I am
Because I saved my own life
Thanks to uncle Sam

Saturday, April 7, 2012

Cold

She is my soul
And gives me meaning
She is my world
And makes me move on
I run to stay with her
And jump through hoops
Because a world without her
Means nothing
But she does not want me
And pushes me away
So my world starts to crumble
And fall around me
As the last thing standing
I fall to my knees
And darkness fills my heart
Never to be exploited
Or pursued anymore
As a cold and empty vessel
A man of the dark

Friday, April 6, 2012

Captor

Ruptured waves break
Wash onto unfriendly shores
Foam fogs my mind
And reaches out in the cold
It pushes me away
As I observe from afar
But yet I am plastered
Incapable of running distant
The sea taunts me
Tells me to walk in and join it
But I would never do such a thing
As give my life to the sea
But as my feet guide closer
My mind shuts off
And what my heart wants
No longer matters
I am the ocean's captor
And my own
As I give in to this sea
And fade from existence

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Silence

Now I see
The inevitability
Of death
May not be so bad
I weep for many
Who were betrayed
By those they trusted
The two faced
And it is not isolated
It is common to see
And it questions my hope
Hope for humanity
I originally was afraid
Unwelcoming to death
But now
I greet him graciously
And with open arms
For I would rather die
Than live in a world
Where what you say
To the person next to you
Can never be sacred
And talking at all
Would get you chastised
If ever you'd done something wrong
So die I will
To be capable
To relax and enjoy
The luxuries of silence
And lack of conflict

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Drowning

Drowning, drowning
Falling deeper under
I am motionless
I don't attempt movement
Nothing to live for
But for my own will
But I have none
So I will left myself fall
And continue deeper
Allowing myself to keep
Drowning, drowning

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Boots

You think you defeated me
Because I appear vulnerable
You couldn't be further from the truth
I am better than ever
And I am on top of the world
For because of my determination
And confidence within
I will stand tall through anything
No matter how big
Or how small it may be
So you can think what you will
But my boots are laced high
And nothing will shake me

Monday, April 2, 2012

Wretch

She is intoxicating
Every movement she makes
A misjudged one by me
I see an angel
But others see a wretch
Woman out for my soul
And more if she could
And achieve it she might
I am enraptured by her
Obsessed even
And breathing alone
No longer an option
So I look for her eyes
And her strength
In my time of need
But alas she is absent
Nowhere to be found
Because she stole it
My heart and soul
She ripped it away
As I fall empty
With no hope for recovery
Into my mind's abyss

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Guidance

Misled youth in need of guidance
A necessity for these souls
Yet none is ever given
By any of the people who can
But why must that be so?
We are the ones who cause it
By exposing them to media
And influences which act negatively
It is not right to shelter your children
For they will never grow
But show them the proper path
So that they may grow to be good
That they may grow to be successful
Because why should we be angry with them
When it is our fault initially?
We must begin to put our hand
Upon their backs
And show them the way
So that this world may be filled
With ladies and gentlemen
Instead of hoodlums and sluts